After my week of misery I decided to see if some wine would help me feel better. With full intention of telling NO ONE! It didn't really make me feel better and of course I made my ususal confessions.
I was surprised when telling my sponsor. She was so caring and forgiving. She said I love you and I'm not mad at you. It's what we do. I told her the 90 in 90 is not really doable given some changes at work. She told me to think about what meetings I could committ to and we can talk again tomorrow. I don't think she's no longer sponsoring me. She never really said.
I stayed in bed all day. Till 5 or so. So time to move forward. My self-allowed hibernation is over. Church tomorrow and meetings, gym etc next week. Isolating didn't help. It helped me drink but that's no help. So I have to start over, so what? At least I refuse to give up and damnit I KNOW one of these sobriety dates will be the last. I will conquer this with the help of God and AA and whatever else it takes.
Day 1
I was surprised when telling my sponsor. She was so caring and forgiving. She said I love you and I'm not mad at you. It's what we do. I told her the 90 in 90 is not really doable given some changes at work. She told me to think about what meetings I could committ to and we can talk again tomorrow. I don't think she's no longer sponsoring me. She never really said.
I stayed in bed all day. Till 5 or so. So time to move forward. My self-allowed hibernation is over. Church tomorrow and meetings, gym etc next week. Isolating didn't help. It helped me drink but that's no help. So I have to start over, so what? At least I refuse to give up and damnit I KNOW one of these sobriety dates will be the last. I will conquer this with the help of God and AA and whatever else it takes.
Day 1
I'm in the same boat with you. Day 1....again. I am sick and tired of telling myself in the shower each morning that I'm done doing this to myself!! I'm sick of it.
ReplyDeleteSo today I venture forth once more.