Changes

Since I lasted posted some major events have happened. I explained about being so depressed so Friday I was sick of feeling depressed and decided to drink. Keep in mind I hadn't been doing AA or anything except sleeping and being depressed for months. So after some wild and crazy drinking I apparently told a friend I was going to drive my car into a wall and be done with it. He called my sister who came and said you are either going voluntarily to the hospital or I have a doctor who will put you on a 72 hour hold. So I went. My blood alcohol level was 286. I had to stay in ER all night until it went down to 100. Then they transported me to a local psych unit. I stayed from Saturday until today. The doctor changed my meds and I spent the first three days in bed sleeping and crying except for mandatory groups and food. Yesterday I started feeling better and socialized more and didn't sleep or cry all day. They let me leave today. I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. I went to talk to my sponsor and have committed to 90 in 90. I will do whatever she says. I never want to go back to the place again. So this will involve lots of help and changes. No more isolating and staying home alone. If my daughters gone I'm leaving, meeting, my sisters, whatever. I told all my close friends what happened and that I will be doing AA, including my parents, everyone has been very supportive. I know from experience it's so hard but if I don't get sober I will end of dead. And I can't do that....

So will going to meetings and gonna check our itr meeting as well. It's all out in the open now and I can't keep playing with fire. I'm giving it to my Higher Power because only He can help me do this.