So today is 3 weeks, 21 days, since I last drank. I've been home today. Catching up on stuff that needed to be done. School work, laundry, etc. I was feeling overwhelmed the other day so I made a list of everything I need to do. It feels good to get to mark things off but now I'm tired of working and feeling restless.
Two invitations to do things with friends. Guess what? Both included alcohol. One was "want to meet me for a drink tonight?" Not drinking I replied but maybe to visit if I'm not too lazy. I won't go because I would drink. Texted another friend thinking maybe dinner, she's at another friends hanging out having pj night drinking wine. So no can't do that. I may come later I told her. If I'm not too lazy. Truth is I am lonely and would love to have a friend to hang out with. Truth is I would love to have a drink and hang out with a friend. I'm not so much craving an actual drink as I am feeling lost and not sure what to do without drinking with my friends. I know one day I will be able to hang out with them drinking and not care but not yet.
I ran 4 miles, did some of my stuff, napped and now what? It's Saturday night and I guess I will stay home alone. Maybe go to bed early. Pity party time around here.
So I heard in a meeting to make a list of things you want to have accomplished in a year and don't look at it until next year. So here goes....
1. Stay sober
2. Be able to socialize with people drinking without worrying about drinking myself
3. Have a full, happy life filled with things to do without alcohol
4. Not dwell on alcohol so much
5. Work the 12 steps and continue meetings
6. Feel more content and happy with my life in general
7. Be happy with myself, content on days like this to just be alone
Lol just hung up with my sponsor, she called me back as I was typing this, as I was telling her how I was feeling she said "Oh so you're having a pity party huh?" Yep I said I already determined that I was!!
Could be worse. She suggested a gratitude list.
1. I didn't drink today
2. I have a great family
3. I have a job, not that I love it but it pays the bills
4. I have my health
5. I have a nice home, nothing fancy but it's mine
6. I have a new car, nothing fancy but it's mine
7. I have AA, a great sponsor, and a recovery program to help me stay sober
8. I ran 4 miles, am training for a 1/2 marathon, am working with a personal trainer and have the ability to do these things
9. And this should have been 1st but I have a God who protects me, loves me, forgives me and will never leave me
Day 21
Two invitations to do things with friends. Guess what? Both included alcohol. One was "want to meet me for a drink tonight?" Not drinking I replied but maybe to visit if I'm not too lazy. I won't go because I would drink. Texted another friend thinking maybe dinner, she's at another friends hanging out having pj night drinking wine. So no can't do that. I may come later I told her. If I'm not too lazy. Truth is I am lonely and would love to have a friend to hang out with. Truth is I would love to have a drink and hang out with a friend. I'm not so much craving an actual drink as I am feeling lost and not sure what to do without drinking with my friends. I know one day I will be able to hang out with them drinking and not care but not yet.
I ran 4 miles, did some of my stuff, napped and now what? It's Saturday night and I guess I will stay home alone. Maybe go to bed early. Pity party time around here.
So I heard in a meeting to make a list of things you want to have accomplished in a year and don't look at it until next year. So here goes....
1. Stay sober
2. Be able to socialize with people drinking without worrying about drinking myself
3. Have a full, happy life filled with things to do without alcohol
4. Not dwell on alcohol so much
5. Work the 12 steps and continue meetings
6. Feel more content and happy with my life in general
7. Be happy with myself, content on days like this to just be alone
Lol just hung up with my sponsor, she called me back as I was typing this, as I was telling her how I was feeling she said "Oh so you're having a pity party huh?" Yep I said I already determined that I was!!
Could be worse. She suggested a gratitude list.
1. I didn't drink today
2. I have a great family
3. I have a job, not that I love it but it pays the bills
4. I have my health
5. I have a nice home, nothing fancy but it's mine
6. I have a new car, nothing fancy but it's mine
7. I have AA, a great sponsor, and a recovery program to help me stay sober
8. I ran 4 miles, am training for a 1/2 marathon, am working with a personal trainer and have the ability to do these things
9. And this should have been 1st but I have a God who protects me, loves me, forgives me and will never leave me
Day 21
No comments:
Post a Comment