Friday, November 4, 2011

Friday the 13th

For me anyway. Day 13. I've been feeling really good all week. Happy, did my daily meetings, prayed, talked to my sponsor about my crazy head stuff. Today I felt good till about 4.

Something about weekends that Trixie (alcoholic in my head) starts talking to me. Loud annoying bitch. And a friend invited me to dinner, which would most likely include drinks. I came home and prayed and took a nap. Got dressed cute just in case I decided to go to "dinner". Went to my meeting. Came home. So the good news is I didn't drink. But I feel sad. Not sure why just sad. Maybe because I can't have dinner with friends because I don't trust myself not to drink. Maybe cause Trixie was whispering about fun times with alcohol. Hell I don't know but I don't like it.

Leaving early tomorrow to go with some friends to some big shopping deal. We are spending the night and coming home Sunday. I've been really looking forward to it. One of my best friends is going. She's aware of my alcohol issues and don't expect much if any drinking to happen. Like they may have a glass of wine with dinner but nothing major so I can handle that. Though I think for accountability I will remind my friend of my issues so she can slap me if I try to order a drink. To say all that.....now I don't want to go. I just want to stay home. I always do that. Make plans that I look forward to until it's time to do them then I don't want to. WTF is up with that??

Anyway I'm going to go and hope my mood turns happy and I enjoy myself.

Day 13 ... maybe not happy but sober

No comments:

Post a Comment