Saturday Evening Edition

So I talked to my sponsor last night and she agreed to keep me as a sponsee. I was happy about this. She said we had to have a plan for the next time I wanted to drink. So the plan is to call her. I pray I can do this. The problem being I don't call her because I know she will talk me out of it but I don't want her to at the time.

So next time, I call. If I don't call and drink I will most likely lose her as a sponsor and I don't want to do that. I want to be sober. Today I feel depressed, yuck, blah....nothing unusal. I did what I needed to though...

Back to my list of accomplishments:
1. Stayed sober
2. Ran my 6 miles on my training schedule, even on the treadmill cause it was raining all day
3. Made a plan with my sponsor
4. Spent time with my daughter
5. Decorated for Christmas, even though I totally wasn't into it my daughter wanted to
6. Had dinner out with my sis and fam, even though I wanted to stay home.

Back to work next week, back to regularly schuduled meetings, back to real life. Real life sucks....

Church tomorrow, even though I don't want to go, I will. I want to hide in my house for a long time. I don't like these feelings but I will have to sit through them cause I brought them on and I have no other choice...

Day 2