Well today was a bit better. I don't feel as down and depressed. I went for a run downtown. I took a shower. I feel more human and able to live life. Less fear.
Of course it's new years weekend. I have kinda a craving to drink, but not really. Just I am alone tonight and probably most of tomorrow and tomorrow night. It just seems something to fill the time at this point. But I'm not drinking. I want to feel better and I know the depression that follows drinking and don't know that I could survive that right now. Just seeing some light at the end of the tunnel of this week and have to go back to work and life next week. I could go to my sister's. I could invite someone to hike with me tomorrow. I should go to a meeting.
I won't drink though.
Day 14
Of course it's new years weekend. I have kinda a craving to drink, but not really. Just I am alone tonight and probably most of tomorrow and tomorrow night. It just seems something to fill the time at this point. But I'm not drinking. I want to feel better and I know the depression that follows drinking and don't know that I could survive that right now. Just seeing some light at the end of the tunnel of this week and have to go back to work and life next week. I could go to my sister's. I could invite someone to hike with me tomorrow. I should go to a meeting.
I won't drink though.
Day 14
I have tears in my eyes reading your last few posts.
ReplyDeleteHope you keep feeling this is all worthwhile. Cause it is.